A Homemaker’s Diary

There are days when I don’t feel like cooking so we order pizza. Well, that’s because Domino’s is the only food delivery service that is available to my housing area at the moment. Usually my eldest will want cheese pizza while the second one wants bread, the cinnamon one.

Occasionally, we also order the add on menu like mozzarella stix or chicken crunchies.

So when I saw the promotion for this Fabulous Four today, I thought let’s give it a try.

The box comes with 4 add on menu which I’m pretty confident the children will eat at least 3 out of 4 -the cinnadots, chicken crunchies and mozzarella stix.

The chicken drummets was not eaten, they tasted it a bit but don’t like it.

Sigh, what can I say, the children are really fussy eaters, sob sob!

A friend gave this to my son as his birthday present last year. At that time he was still too young to appreciate the 4D flash card. This year we decided to buy him his own iPod rather than having both of them fighting over the one at home. So Hubby installed the apps and showed him how the flashcards work.

Embark on a fantastic space exploration experience right within the confines of your home with Space 4D+ by Octagon Studio.

Space 4D+ is a collection of educational Augmented Reality flashcards about space. In these cards are a mine of information about the solar system, planets, space objects, satellites, rovers and space missions. See the solar system and the planets come amazingly to life in Augmented Reality.

All you need to do is to download the Space 4D+ app FREE from App Store or Google Play store and then scan the cards.

To activate the space 4D+ cards, users have to register a serial number that is printed to the instruction card. Each serial number can be used on a maximum of three (3) devices. After registering the serial number, the user can scan the cards using the space 4D+ to begin a fascinating journey of discovery.

I’m thinking to get another set of card from Lazada, maybe the one on dinosaur.

A few days ago, while I was sweeping the floor, I have this sudden thought of how wasteful my life has been. It could be because of the dust that I inhaled that went straight inside my head, Idk.

I told myself this is the kind of job that I could easily pay others to do if I decide not to be a housewife and be a career woman. What am I doing all these years wasting my education and intelligence for mundane house chores like this.

I should have send these children to daycare right after I completed my 2 months maternity leave or hire a maid to take care of them.

There’s a Malaysian woman aged 27, an astrophysics Phd candidate who found a supermassive black hole and here I am finding lump of black dust under the children bed. And occasionaly I do find black poop in dirty diaper as well. Where were I when I was 27?

As I tried to console the crazy thought that keep on growing inside my head which in reality is full of crazy hairs (as testified by my autistic son), my iman whispered about “pahala menyapu sampah di rumah umpama menyapu baitullah” and my head retaliated by saying, for all I know it could be one of the many famous hadis palsu circulated to keep Muslim women happy to do house chores. That I have to ask the hadith expert to clarify. And as I keep on sweeping more toys underneath the sofa while my second son kept on throwing his building blocks, I asked myself, why am I doing all this?

I never imagine growing up to be a housewife. Ages ago when I filled up the top 5 ambitions in the primary school personal data card, surirumah was never a choice.

In 2 months time, I will be 38. If some astrologer’s prediction that I die young really comes true, I hope I live long enough to see my second son grows beyond his 6 years of early life.

There’s a research that shows that for boys, a secure mother attachment in the first year is essential for optimal male socioemotional development. I hope for the past 8 years, despite the lack of sleep and constant battle inside my head, I have been able to provide both of them the attachment they need.

https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/moral-landscapes/201701/be-worried-about-boys-especially-baby-boys

As I was sorting out the splattered toys from the dirt, it came to my mind about one article I read, written by a mom about how nobody knows who built the cathedral but most are awed by the majestic beauty of it.

In 30 years time, as these boys will be all grown up, I hope my devotion won’t be a waste. If they couldn’t be as grand as the cathedral, I want them to be like a castle by the lake, quaint yet serene, strong and dependable to those who love them.

Many years ago when I still couldn’t decide whether I want to have a child or not, people keep on telling me that I should. For many different reasons.

Some are religious wise, some are more selfish, like who will care for you when you are old and sick if you don’t have any child, well, you know what I mean.

Now after 7 years plus of being a mother, I know why I want to have children. It’s for the legacy you pass down upon your flesh and blood.

You can see it right after the child come out from you. It’s in the feature, the skin color, the temperament, the personality. The fact that he cried his lungs out making demand the first night at the hospital, not wanting to be separated, having forced to sleep on his own in the tiny cot in the nursery.

As the child grows, you can see how the nature brings out the best and the worst of you in him. The fact that he refuses to sleep even though it’s way past the normal bedtime for a 2-year old toddler. Or how he can throw a really terrible tantrum just like how your mother described you at his age, sigh!

These things humbled me. It makes me realized that unconditional love really exist in this world. Beyond the obligation and responsibility of being a parent, there lies a bond that could not be severed.

The legacy you pass down will remain as long as the bloodline continues.

The fact that he inherits your love for reading by stacking all the hardboard books on the pillow after reading them, just like you used to do long before he was born. And the mess he loves to pile on the floor and every empty space possible, just like what you used to do in your old bedroom.

Legacy..that’s a legitimate reason on why every one in this world should have children of their own.

I started rolling the dice. I got 7. Son got 2. He was upset because it seems that he was behind in the game. We continued to move. My son’s turn. And then suddenly he got to the first ladder. He was happy. From the slow start he was now on the third row.

This is what happened in life. Some people seems to have a good start while you are still struggling. But by Allah’s mercy and his endless bounty, even when you least expect it, you manage to get to higher places – good job, better salary.

We continued playing. At times it feels so boring, same old routine, you roll the dice, you move according to the numbers you get but ultimately the goal you are aiming for is the spot where 100 resides.

There are times that you wish you get more number from the dice, because by that you could move up faster. No matter how much you try, you never know how much you can get until the dices have been rolled on the floor.

My son put the dices in his palm. He rolled it so hard hoping he will get more. And then it turned out to be 2, one each from the dices. With frustration, he moved.

Sometimes we work so hard. We tried our best yet we feel that we don’t get what we expect, not realizing that Allah has another plan for us.

As we moved along in the game, Son got 8. And he said, “If I got 11 just now, I would have been eaten by the snake..” That time he was at the second top row. A few more steps towards 100.

That’s the wisdom in sustenance (rezeki). It’s either you get what you want, or you’ll be saved from the harm.

And as he reached 98, he said I just need 2 to win. It turned out he got 10 and has to reversed 8 steps backwards. He was upset when he got 2 few times before in the game, remember? And yet now how he wishes to get the same number to win the game.

As for me, I got eaten by the snake at 91 and fell down to 25.

We didn’t finish the game but I did learn the lessons.