A Homemaker’s Diary

May God give you…
For every storm, a rainbow,
For every tear, a smile,
For every care, a promise,
And a blessing in each trial.
For every problem life sends,
A faithful friend to share,
For every sigh, a sweet song,
And an answer for each prayer.

There’s one sad truth in life I’ve found
While journeying east and west –
The only folks we really wound
Are those we love the best.

We flatter those we scarcely know,
We please the fleeting guest,
And deal full many a thoughtless blow
To those who love us best.

~Ella Wheeler Wilcox

I lost a friend today, to stage 4 stomach cancer.

It is so sad. I knew her since we were like 18, 19 way back during college years. We were even working in the same company after both of us graduated from Uni.

About 2 months ago, she decided to quit her job and be a full time mom. She messaged me via Facebook asking about things to do at home, things that could earn money while carrying her task as a mother of two. Her 9 month old daughter is still breastfeeding when she was warded to the hospital.

I am glad that I made time to chat with her that day. That was the last time we communicated before she fell sick and went offline. And then I found her status stating that doctor suspected she has lymphoma cancer which turned out to be stage 4 stomach cancer. It then has spread to her bone marrow. I visited her in the hospital on 16th September, almost didn’t make it but now as I am typing this I was glad that we braved through the heavy rain. She was surrounded with family when I visited her.

Seeing her on the hospital bed, with blood infused to her vein, bruises all over her body, no longer able to digest food with sick and bloated tummy made me realized how short and frail life could be. It doesn’t matter what kind of car you drive, how big your house is or how much money you make and have in the account, in the end if you are lucky, it’s your loved ones that will be by your bedside day and night, and that is priceless.

That night after I visited her, for the first time as I lie on bed waiting for my son to fall asleep, I feel really blessed to be a mother. I imagined her not being able to breastfeed her daughter and not even able to see her 4-year old son in the hospital since before Hari Raya.

I pray that she is in a better place now. Al Fatihah.

1. Life should have choices beyond mere survival.

2. You have the right to say ‘NO’ to anything when you feel you are not ready or it is unsafe.

3. Life should not be motivated by fear.

4. You have the right to all of your feelings.

5. You are probably not guilty.

6. You have the right to make mistakes.

7. There is no need to smile when you cry.

8. You have a right to terminate conversations with people who make you feel put-down or humiliated.

9. You can be healthier than those around you.

10. It is OK to be relaxed, playful, and frivolous.

11. You have a right to change and grow.

12. It is important to set limits and be ‘selfish.’

13. You can be angry at someone you love.

14. You can take care of yourself no matter what circumstances you are in.

15. You have the right to be illogical in making decisions.

16. You do not have to offer reasons to justify your behavior.

17. You have the right to change your mind.

18. It is OK to tell somebody what your needs are (although they may not care to do anything about it.)

19. You can be the judge of your own behavior, thoughts and emotions and be responsible for their initiation and the consequences upon yourself.

20. You have a perfect right to be happy.

~Original source unknown.

While blog hopping today and see so many wonderful craft creations around the world, I found this poignant writing by Kate Swoboda. Here is the original link to her post – Love Letter To The World.

In the face of complaints, look that person in the eye and imagine what it might have been like to be raised to see only what is wrong.

In the face of selfishness, wonder what it might be like to walk the world with a feeling of lack, of depletion.

In the face of insults, consider where this person first learned that it’s okay to abuse others.

In the face of disconnection, think about what causes it, and ask if your response will widen the river between the two of you.

In the face of laziness, recognize the fear of living big dreams.

In the face of extremism or fundamentalism, see the clinging, as well as the terror-filled silence that would arise for that person if they risked letting go.

In the face of controlling behavior, understand the chaos that must have bred it.

In the face of “always needing to be right,” see how often this person was once made wrong.

In the face of arrogance or bravado, hold gently that still, small piece that says “I’m not enough.”

In the face of drama or attention-seeking, see the person who wishes so much to be seen.

In the face of accusation, imagine what it might be like to live life with suspicion.

In the face of judgement or comparisons, step into the opportunity the world has just provided you for practicing love and acceptance.

In the face of passive-aggressiveness, recognize the child that wasn’t taught a safe way to express their truth.

In the face of anger, see the pain of isolation from others.

Most importantly: In the face of ferocious hatred, believe in the possibility that there exists the potential for equally as big, intense, lovely and fiery ferocious love.