On Being A SAHM


This year marks the 11th year that I’ve been a homemaker. There were few years previously that I tried to be a WAHM, but for the past 2 years I have been a stay-at-home mom entirely.

There are times that I wonder whether all the years spent as a stay-at-home mom really makes a difference. I wouldn’t know because there’s no other option for me. My son is autistic and has never spend a day in daycare. The only other person ever to take care of him is my husband. We basically have no extended family support. I have never let my son stays overnight with any other family member, since they never offer to babysit him.

When women my age or younger said they would like to try being a work-at-home mom or stay-at-home mom, my unsolicited advice for them would be that they have to be tough mentally and emotionally.

Most women who used to have their own money from working a 9-5 job will think that the main obstacle being a SAHM would be the lost of income. Yes, that’s true. But if you have a supportive spouse who is not stingy, you wouldn’t need all the money you used to earn, to survive basic life. There will be sacrifice on your side, I admit that, like not being able to splurge on branded stuffs, buy impulsively, things like that. But for the past decade that I’ve met people who decided to become SAHM, none of them ever been destitute on the street.

The main problem with being a SAHM is how happy you could be at home, juggling life with kids and house chores, mundane routine that at the end of the day seems like you are doing nothing all day. At one point, you will start asking yourself whether you are wasting the talent and education you got, by being a homemaker.

So for those who would like to choose this path of life after years of being a career women and mothers, I would say give it a try. The first 6 months would be the hardest phase to get through but eventually if you are meant to be a SAHM, you will find the peace in such vocation.

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