A Homemaker’s Diary

It took me a few days to finish this entry.

Sigh..never know that being a mother could be this time consuming and tiring..yes, I’m not being a hypocrite and deny the fact that I am feeling all the not-so-good, I-hate-this, why-you-won’t sleep, aarghhh-grrrr, oh-please-sleep emotions.

It’s all a mixed feeling, the time when he’s sleeping peacefully, there is a bliss in being a mom, but when you are awake at 4 am after the previous one hour feeding and diaper changing, I just can’t say it is great doing this mothering job forever.

The colicky phase (all the meronta, crying till merah muka, i-want-to-sleep-but-my-tummy hurt) will then last for another 4-5 hours, till around 9-10am. (Please don’t give me smart advice and leave comment like put minyak yu yee, tuam the baby bla bla, we have done all that, so thank you and keep your method to yourself) And FYI, I did berpantang makan religiously, my lunch and dinner is ikan bakar with sayur sawi air for the past 26 days…so don’t give me the crap of makanan berangin.

Sometimes at the last 1-2 hour of the colic marathon, when I feel too tired and can’t take it anymore, I just break down and cry. Hubby will usually take over from then on, giving me about 2-3 hours of uninterrupted sleep (that’s possible if only the baby doesn’t need another round of feeding). By 2pm when I wake up from the short morning sleep, I usually feel much better, energized and ready to head another day with the baby.

Well, this phase will surely pass and perhaps later in years to come, I will miss the extra bonding time at wee hour. But for now I just wish there is chance for me to catch up on the missing sleep (without worrying about the hungry baby..which is almost impossible since I breastfeed him exclusively).

Oh God! Please give me strength and patience to be a good mom!

Abah kata, cepat-cepat lah besar, badan keras boleh timang-timang, boleh buat kapal terbang..

Pak Long kata, cepat la besar, nanti boleh pegi jalan-jalan, pegi Aquaria..

Mak Long kata, bila besar, kita pegi night zoo tgk monyet kecik…

Mama kata, cepat la besar, boleh mama tido puas-puas macam dulu… (hampeh punya mak..)

We managed to find a paed to go today. Reason being Hubby is worried sick that our son has been breathing heavily and has stuffy nose. Actually we wanted to go and check yesterday but all paeds were on Christmas leave. After researching around, I decided to see Dr Nazim at Az Zahrah, Bangi and fortunately he is good and not menyakitkan hati..haha!

My first impression when I went into his clinic was like..alamak doktor pakai kopiah tarbus la plak..I’m not being judgmental but experiences have taught me that certain people gaya-gaya Usrah ni is more annoying than those yang hu-ha cucuk langit. But Dr Nazim was allright, he explained in details and checked our son carefully. He even has one small koala bear hanging on his stethoscope. So now we are not worried anymore. The heavy breathing and the stuffy nose is all because of tersedak susu, more to overfeeding, nothing to be worried as his respiratory system, heart and lungs were all normal.

Dr Nazim advised us to bedung the baby tightly as erratic legs movement will push the milk from the tummy upwards causing more sedak susu. Now we know why all these orang tua2 bedung newborns, not because all the kaki kengkang excuses..huhu!

I hardly notice that this weekend is supposed to be a long weekend. For someone in confinement, it makes no difference whether it’s weekend or not. There’s a friend’s wedding tomorrow which if I am not in confinement I would like to go. Oh talking about Sinetron Indon, I watched Istri Untuk Suami Ku again today. It’s the usual family crap – the mom emphasizing her rights, the usual perasaan seorang ibu bullshit, forcing the child to choose between the spouse or her, and the menantu trying hard to live up to her standard, making child issue as a big deal.

Well, now being a mom myself I hope and pray that there will never be a moment in my life that I have to be that kind of mother, God forbid, I wouldn’t want history to repeat itself.

My son who hardly cries succumb to the pain of his upset tummy last night. Blame it on me for eating the black pepper sauce in the Prosperity burger..or was it the Tropical Herbs herbal tea? Well, I’ve drank another cup after lunch today so if he has stomach pain again next morning, then the tea is the culprit.

He started to poop and cried since 4 am till 9 am. I was lost on what to do, I fed him every time he demanded food, I tried to dodoikan (he usually self sooth himself to sleep), I even thought of bathing him in the morning if the pain did not subside. Fortunately he did not wailed out loud, just a manja ek, ek, ek.. with his chubby face turning red and his head, forehead and neck were blazing hot, (I thought he was down with fever) which makes my motherly heart breaks… kesiannya anak aku sakit perut…and it is all my fault for not restraining myself from eating what I shouldn’t eat..huhu!

I’m sorry, son! I will not eat any more food that causes stomach pain for you, for as long as you choose to be breastfed.

The most anticipated thing after the baby was born is the merdeka day from the confinement period. I have 30 more days to go, to be spent in this bedroom..huhu..although I think I will cheat every now and then, to turun tangga and lepak in the living hall..hehe…(patut ke aku? tak bentan ke nanti..huhu!)

Talking about bentan, I have 2 incidents that I think something like nak bentan..first after I selamba ate 2 slices of papaya, well, you can’t blame me since I haven’t poop even after gulping down the stool softener which Hubby bought from pharmacy..insaf sekejap and now I understand why people said don’t eat makanan sejuk..huhu.. but since I still can’t pass bowel, I asked Hubby to buy prune and pati prune pulak…that ended up with another incident of badan menggigil at night..so after all the trial and error, I think I found the solution in taking one orange every night after dinner.

This evening Hubby went out to Jusco to find anti clog for the downstairs toilet drain. It seems that the oil and grease from the kitchen sink have accumulated further into the drain pipe towards the toilet, which makes everything worse as we use the toilet mainly for laundry. Today Hubby can’t do any laundry since the water overflow from the drain and not seeping at all.

BTW, I just had Prosperity burger for tea..heh! Come to think again, the beef is not fried, and since it’s bread and black pepper sauce, it shouldn’t be a problem, hopefully..I will blog later if it cause any stomach upset to the baby.