A Homemaker’s Diary

I have been contemplating to write about my experience raising a year old toddler. After all, what do I know. I only have one child while others have more experiences with more than one child under their care. But then I thought not many people have high need child like mine.

Today, a mother I know asked me what’s a high need child like? And how difficult could it be to raise one. Well, to give you a view of whether it is difficult or not to raise such a child, let’s read through what the characteristics of a high need/spirited child.

If you have the time, read the full descriptions at Dr Sears website : 12 Features Of A High Need Baby.

A summary of the 12 traits as taken from thefussybabysite.com is as follows:

12 Characteristics of High Need Babies

Intense

Make their needs known in a very loud, definitive way. Are passionate about what they want and don’t want, and if you’re not quick to meet their needs, they’ll let you have it. They cry loudly, but the flip side is that they also voice their pleasure loudly.

Hyperactive

In constant motion, may have stiff or tense muscles, seldom quiet or still, and may even resist being held or cuddled. May resist being swaddled or wrapped, and may be difficult to breastfeed because of their constant movement.

Draining

High needs babies wear you down! They definitely keep you on your toes, and may leave little time for you to recharge your batteries. Because they often don’t sleep well, there is no consistent or predictable down time for you, the parent. This can be extremely tiring and frustrating.

Feeds frequently

High needs babies may desire to nurse or bottle feed more frequently. And you may also wish to feed more frequently to pacify your baby. I have heard from many parents that their high needs baby was in the top percentile for weight due to the high frequency of feedings.

Demanding

This is the child that lets you know, very loudly, what he needs. If you don’t get to him right away, he is quick to voice his displeasure. He feels his needs very strongly and knows how to get them met.

Awakens frequently

Sleeps in short stretches and may also have trouble falling asleep.

Unsatisfied

No matter what you do, your baby may still be grumpy, unhappy, or discontent, even if you’ve tried every calming technique you can think of. Dr. Sears encourages parents to realize when they’ve done all they can, and that the rest is up to their baby.

Unpredictable

One day she falls asleep when you rock her, the next she doesn’t. You’re able to calm her by feeding her one night, but the next night she shrieks when you try to feed her. He sleeps through the night for a few days, and then is up 3+ times the next few nights. We jokingly call our little guy manic depressive because he can go from calm and content and smiling one second to red-faced screaming the next.

Super-sensitive

Extremely sensitive to their environment and external stimuli. They are constantly observing the world around them, and prefer to be at home, or in a calm and familiar environment. They may startle easily, and are very sensitive to pain or discomfort.

Can’t put baby down

These babies prefer to be held and in constant motion. They may resist sleeping alone, or being relegated to their stroller or bouncy chair. They prefer human touch and movement. High Needs babies tend to do very well when being ‘worn’ in slings or baby carriers.

Not a self-soother

These are the babies that need help to fall asleep. While other babies may be able to drift peacefully off to sleep in their cribs, some babies need to be gently taught how to relax and fall asleep on their own. This may not come until a little later in infancy.

Separation sensitive

Some babies definitely prefer the company of their primary caregivers. It may be difficult to leave them with babysitters or even have someone else hold them. They are deeply attached to their parents as they know that these are the people who meet their needs.

Well, now you know why I find it so challenging and draining to care for my son. I wonder if there is any other parents with high need child who read this blog. Feel free to leave comment. I would love to know others in the same league.

Gosh! Time does fly these days..it’s like one day it’s Monday then somehow it’s the next Monday..isk isk..although if you’re a stay-at-home mom with a kid like mine, you’ll be counting the hours till his sleep time. Nevertheless with all the daily routines and packed schedule, there goes January of 2010.

So what have I achieved for the month of January?

I conducted craft classes with altogether 7 students – which means I get to know another new 7 personalities and an additional income of RM500++.

Oh, I didn’t win the craft contest, couldn’t even make it on time for the prize giving ceremony. Fortunately I didn’t win otherwise me being late comer, the prize will be passed to the next in line..heh! But it was a good exposure for me to see how creative others can be.

Son has been walking here and there..now I can water my plants without holding him in one hand..the joy of having both of my hands back to my own usage..hehe! He on the other hand will be terkedek-kedek busy nak menyapu halaman.

Finished reading a few parenting books. In the process of building up another website/blog dedicated to parenting.

Cashed out RM80++ from Nuffnang. That’s basically a month payout for all my blogs registered under Nuffnang.

Cashed out USD90++ from Socialspark into PayPal. I used about USD30 from that amount to buy a craft book which I have been eyeing since last year. Can’t wait for the book to arrive from US.

Bought a red bicycle for Son. Now we petang-petang amik angin sambil sembang dgn maid Indon..huhu!

Well, that’s what I can think of now. Of course there were many more that I am grateful and happy about.

Just hope that February will be a much better month for us as a family. In the mean time, Selamat Hari Wilayah to people working in KL and Putrajaya!

After a year of being a mom, I am still in search of other moms that share the same sentiments I have towards motherhood and how we should raise our child, but I am yet to find one.

Most mothers that I know work full time, those that have their own business or perhaps think that they are the kind of work-from-home-moms are not that similar like me because they have maids or send their kids to nurseries so that they can carry on with their daily work.

For those who are stay-at-home moms, they are simply SAHM who do nothing apart from taking care of their kids and their household.

I am something in between, I am a SAHM who tries to continue running my business at home while taking care of my son 24/7. I have no maid, no helper and never send my son to nursery. I used to work full time 7 years ago, I used to stay at home doing nothing for half a year, I used to run business from home successfully pre baby years (for the past 5 years), and now I am a mom who tries to juggle everything. I wonder if there is anyone out there who is like me, who could at least understand what it feels being someone like me?

I am still looking…

My school among the country’s first ever 20 high performance schools..hehe..

Check out the full story : RM1mil among perks for high performance schools.

It seems that most people that asked me about whether I am going to have another child gave me some serious weird look whenever I told them that I don’t plan to add any.

What is wrong with having an only child? I was an only child till I was 10 and till now I still don’t understand why my parents have to insist on having additional child in their life when all they ever said and whined is that a child is a burden to parents..sigh!

Was is a family pressure that makes them HAVE to have a son? Is a daughter never good enough as a child? Is it a society norm to keep on getting pregnant and give birth, while you never care of how your child might turn out to be. This world is already so full with ugly, stupid, rotten people and I for once think that my current responsibility of raising a son to be a good person is heavy enough to add another one on my shoulder.

Maybe I think differently from others, but hey, it’s my thought, my choice and my rights. If you want to churn out one child every single year, go ahead. Just don’t give me some stupid remarks or lame excuses on why I should follow your way.