What Do You Want In Life?

I read this title in a friend’s status message in Facebook today.

It makes me wonder what do I want in my life..

At times I feel like I better go back to work especially when I find it’s hard to handle a handful son..but then that will be like lari dari tanggungjawab, let someone else take care of my son be it maid or nursery..eerr..what’s the point of having a child then..is it worth the salary that I will get at the end of the month..how much could I earn, RM3k? 4k? and how much nett amount will be at the end of the day? RM500?

I think deeply about the issue of working and realize that if I were really intend to work, I should have done that like 5 years ago, by now maybe I will be a manager or paling cikai pon someone who is earning 5-6k per month.

Then I realized that it is not my job and even responsibility to earn money. It is Hubby’s and he has been doing great job at it for the past 7 years that we have been married. I am a mother now, I asked for a child and Allah granted me one, so whatever I dream about life, it shouldn’t contradict with what I have to do as a mom, no matter what the society dictates and expect of women these days.

I am an educated woman. Some say it’s such a waste not to work because I have a degree. But raising a child makes me learn more and whatever skills I get from 4 years in University do not go to waste even if I don’t earn monetary rewards at the end of the month. I think I am a better mom because I have time to read, to research and learn more about my son, which I think I will not have time and energy to do so if I were to work like most mothers out there.

So, coming back to the main question, what do I want in life?

To live long enough to see the fruits of my labor as a mom, whether I am successful in my quest to raise a great man, who one day will raise children of his own, and hopefully will be a better parent than I am now.