It took me a few days to finish this entry.
Sigh..never know that being a mother could be this time consuming and tiring..yes, I’m not being a hypocrite and deny the fact that I am feeling all the not-so-good, I-hate-this, why-you-won’t sleep, aarghhh-grrrr, oh-please-sleep emotions.
It’s all a mixed feeling, the time when he’s sleeping peacefully, there is a bliss in being a mom, but when you are awake at 4 am after the previous one hour feeding and diaper changing, I just can’t say it is great doing this mothering job forever.
The colicky phase (all the meronta, crying till merah muka, i-want-to-sleep-but-my-tummy hurt) will then last for another 4-5 hours, till around 9-10am. (Please don’t give me smart advice and leave comment like put minyak yu yee, tuam the baby bla bla, we have done all that, so thank you and keep your method to yourself) And FYI, I did berpantang makan religiously, my lunch and dinner is ikan bakar with sayur sawi air for the past 26 days…so don’t give me the crap of makanan berangin.
Sometimes at the last 1-2 hour of the colic marathon, when I feel too tired and can’t take it anymore, I just break down and cry. Hubby will usually take over from then on, giving me about 2-3 hours of uninterrupted sleep (that’s possible if only the baby doesn’t need another round of feeding). By 2pm when I wake up from the short morning sleep, I usually feel much better, energized and ready to head another day with the baby.
Well, this phase will surely pass and perhaps later in years to come, I will miss the extra bonding time at wee hour. But for now I just wish there is chance for me to catch up on the missing sleep (without worrying about the hungry baby..which is almost impossible since I breastfeed him exclusively).
Oh God! Please give me strength and patience to be a good mom!
Sweetheart, I know exactly how you feel… Imran was doing just that when he’s Ilham’s age. Non-stop crying, he only sleeps when he’s too tired to cry. For no specific cause at some point. MIL kept saying he must be in pain then again I don’t recall anything that could’ve caused that. To me it’s just a cry of missing your tummy. Nothing can replace his ‘home’ for 9 months.
I wish I could give something to keep you in high spirit but trust me, the support from your beloved is very is the one thing that would keep you from going crazy..
@Anis: from your story I believe Hani does not do that? It’s generally for boys then… interesting research subject.
if ($babyGender == ‘M’) cryMostOfTheTime();
else crySometimes(rand());
@Sweetheart: you’re doing a very good job there’s no doubt about that. I can tell you’re suffering and I am trying to share it with you. Trying my best here. Just tell me if you expect something more.
Mcm tulah dugaan ms pantang. Ms Najmi dulu rsnya mcm dah serik je nk bersalin lg. Kuat menyusu dan suka berkipas. Panas sikit terus jaga. Sampai demam2 aku dibuatnya.
Skrg dia dah besar…dah nk msk sekolah pun…
Smoga byk2 bersabar ye..lucky your hubby always around you